Aug 24, 2010

Here's Something Everyone Needs to Know About Trust

Are you quick to trust someone? Does it come natural for you?

If you are anything like me, then you are too trusting too soon. For whatever reason, I’m quick to trust people. Is it a bad thing? No. I generally think people are good. But, too fast to trust syndrome—as I’m calling it—can cause a lot of pain. I’m sure many of you already know this.


I suppose I am naive.

I guess then a recent episode where a person continued to break my trust, while I continued to give the person the benefit of the doubt, is a growing up. I actually honestly believed that most people would have my interest at heart, much like I have theirs at heart. But, the truth is, they don’t. Most do not, and never will. I believe I’ve been woken up.

Harsh truth can be painful. But it is also a wonderful teacher. This recent episode of broken trust taught me several things.
  1. It taught me the importance of trust.
  2. It taught me about the importance of integrity. Or, better said, the art of keeping promises, keeping your word, doing what you say you will when you say you will.
  3. It taught me to honor my debts immediately, no matter the personal cost to myself. For if I do not, the result is painful to the person I deprive.
  4. It taught me that our trust toward other people should not be automatic. That they should have to earn our trust, and we theirs.
This last point really intrigues me. Trust should be earned. It should not be automatic. Most of you probably already know this. But, I never really thought like that. I have just naturally assumed that most people are good. I also never really thought of myself as being a person worthy of waiting for someone to earn my trust before trusting them. I just thought I better jump out and trust, otherwise they might leave. …and anyone who knows me know that I hate being left.

But, the truth is, I deserve to be someone who is catered to in terms of trust. What I mean is, I am someone worthy of you doing the work to gain my trust. And so are you from me.


I have often felt strange when people don’t trust me right away. I know my character, I know that I am harmless. Yet, I forget that others do not. I forget that others cannot know what I know about myself. I also forget that I am not as angelic as I like to try and get others to believe. (But that’s another topic for another time!) I realize today that when others don't trust me immediately, it's natural, normal, and healthy.


The bottom line is that I and you both deserve to wait for someone to work to earn our trust. Instant liking is not good. That doesn’t mean we should be stuffy and scared and stuck in a corner waiting for someone to make us their friend without our trying. But it does mean that we take our time, wait, and really watch the people we come to know. Some of them, most often those that you may think are going to be "sure thing" honest, turn out to be nothing more than slime ball lizards hidden inside human skin, waiting to turn us into meat for their dinner. I hate lizards!


Those of you who are the lizards….you know who you are...know this....I'm through being Mr. Nice Guy! Time for you to work to get my respect and trust. Anything less is my own self-abuse.

For Information On Building A Culture of Trust, check out this site.

No comments: