Aug 4, 2010

One Possible Way To Find Happiness

Kill them! Just do it! Just pull out your knife and kill! Stab them through the heart. You don’t need them where you are going! All they do is tear you down, hold you back, and keep you from the destiny that is pulling at you deep in your heart!

Dear reader, the expectations that others have placed upon you are a huge barrier to your happiness. Killing the expectations others have of us is a surefire way to find a little more happiness in your own life.

Just what do I mean?

People are expectation making machines. It’s a habit. You naturally form expectations of people, of places, of things. When you were young, you probably learned to expect dinner at a certain time. When you got older, you could expect that you would get in trouble if you arrived at school late. In professional life, you have probably come to expect a paycheck at the end of every month for the work you’ve done.

For the most part, expectations are good. When you enter into a contract, you expect certain promises to be kept. When you work, you expect to be paid. When you buy a book , you expect that book will have words written on the page. Expectations like these are fairly normal and rather good.

Some expectations, however, are enough to drive us crazy. The expectations you should be most concerned with are the expectations other people have for you. For example, your mom and your dad probably want you to get married by a certain age. They probably want you to marry the right person, get the right job, live nearby, do a bunch of things that are essential for making them happy. When you were born, these expectations were "placed" on you by your parents. They were handed to you. You did not have a choice in the matter.

It is these expectations that make us really really unhappy.

Actually, they seem rather unfair. You did not have a choice, but are expected to comply. Is this freedom? No. You are made to feel responsible for your parents feelings. Is this freedom? No.

The expectations your parents have on you are their expectations, not yours for yourself. One of the biggest toughest decisions a human being can make, therefore, is choosing to either live for other people's expectations—which usually means living an unhappy life—or to choose to break free of other people's expectations and instead find a great life of their own.

Finding a life of your own is the better option.

Why?

You were meant to live a specific life. Your own. You were designed in a unique way. That means that you are like fingerprints. That means that your soul is unique and special. That means that you should honor it. Quite frankly, when your parents try to make you live according to their expectations, or when you choose to live according to other peoples expections--like our wives or husbands--you are denying our uniqueness. Which is basically the same as pretending that your fingerprints are not yours. It’s like hearing your parents say, "your fringer print lines should look like mine. They don’t. That’s bad. So, you should work to change your fingerprints into the exact shape that I want."

You have a unique and authentic self that needs to be lived. To bring it out requires us to be brave enough to kill the expectations of others. To break out of the shell that people have put around us. Doing so will lead you to a happier life. It will lead you to your real life. The life you and your unique DNA structure, your unique soul need you to be and do.

You have a unique service to offer this world. If you are busy being a doctor when you should be a professional radio host, then you are cheating life of your real talent. And that is a bigger shame than the shame that we feel when we go against our parents. ...but we have chosen to ignore this. (I believe because of fear).

Your parents made you, but they didn’t create you. They didn’t determine the exact DNA structure that decided on the day of your conception to connect and become. Something larger did. Even if that larger was Coincidence, the fact remains. You belong to yourself. You do not belong to the expectations of others.


So find what makes you happy. Stop trying to live by some other persons time line orn idea of the perfect life. Their thoughts and plans for you are their disappointments and regrets. Give them back to them. One person is responsible for only their own life. You are responsible for your own life. That means you are responsible for making your own self happy, and not responsible trying to please the incongruous desires another has for you.

When you begin to live the life you were meant to live, at first it will feel painful. You will have to fight against the training in your mind, and you will have to fight against the yelling of your folks or others who have their expectations set on you.

The yelling in your mind and around you will tempt you to go back. To be the good little doggie and obey. The voices in your mind will say “This new path is foolish. It’s stupid. It’s not you! It’s not your destiny.” That voice is bullshit. The truth, dear reader, is in your hearts. Listen to that. Find and follow the real you. Act in the direction of your higher self, and life will surround and care for you!

Now, of course this does not mean ignore people. It does not mean ignore your children. It does not mean parents should stop having rules in the house, boundaries, etc. It does not mean you as a parent should stop caring for your child in EVERY POSSIBLE way. It means that you let go. You let go of the life they are going to live. It means you trust that they will be alright. That your DNA is smart enough to ensure their survival too. And, it means you start taking care of yourself.

Children have a right to have certain expectations of their parents. Care, food, shelter, warmth, encouragement. These are good and right and proper to expect.

Parents don’t have the right to expect their children will take care of them when they are old. Parents have no right to expect their children should return the favor of sacrifice that they as parents chose to do. The old generation should give to the new, and should take care of itself. If the new generation wants to help, okay. But not through duty.

This does not mean we should not keep our commitments. If you enter into a contract, then someone has an expectation of you. This kind of expectation is normal and good. Good faith. Without this, society would be in trouble. You should honor your commitments and contracts.

Find the balance between expectations. Search for what are reasonable expectations and what are unreasonable. When it comes to hand-me-down expectations, all are unreasonable.

You happiness is vitally important. It’s important, because if you are happy, then you love yourself. If you love yourself, then you can give of yourself. If you give of yourself, people’s needs will get met, and in turn, your own needs will get met.

If you are unhappy, your needs get harder and harder to have met. Struggle ensues.

Therefore, becoming happy is very important.

So, just kill them! Go ahead and stab them! Kill them now! Killing the those wrong expectations that others have placed upon you is a great step in the direction of happiness.