Moving houses, apartments, boxes from underneath the bridge is a terrible thing! It ranks on the “sucks to do this” scale at a 9.5 out of 10. Death, of course, being 10. The stress of moving is enough to create four extra wrinkles in all our faces.
So how do we get through the stress? There are 3 ways.
First, you could get drunk. It's an option. You can drink and drink and drink some more. This way won’t work for all of us, and it’s only a temporary solution that will actually only make matters worse, but it’s an option.
Sometimes temporary bliss is better than that ugly feeling of putting up with movers, putting shit into boxes, lifting heavy crap up stairs, navigating refrigerators around awkward corners and through narrow doors. So keep this option in mind.
Second, yell at a lot of people. This one works wonders! It makes you feel good for that one or two moments that you’re in the middle of a tirade against someone you don’t know at all. SHUT UP! EAT ME! I’LL KILL YOU! Anger is a great way to blow off the steam of stress. Unfortunately, you’ve got to deal with the consequences.
So, I recommend that if you’re going to blow of steam, you find someone else's kid, and take it out on them. They’re the least harmful. If you make them cry, it doesn’t matter. You can run away and pretend that it never happened. If someone questions you about it, just deny it. No one believes kids anyhow. And, if you permanently scar the little kid, it’s okay, because you don’t have to live with the reminder of the effect of your crap attitude as it grows into a neurotic little adult.
This is awesome!
If you yell at your own kid, or at someone big like you…you have to live with the consequences, and that is simply unacceptable.
The final tip is to do the mature thing and write stuff down. Make a list of all that needs to be done.
Slowly, one by one, tick off the items as you complete them. Writing them down helps eliminate the stress of carrying the shit in your head, and thinking all the time that you won’t forget anything.
Constant memory holding is like weight lifting for the brain, only it effects your stomach, your liver, your nerves, in fact, it effects most all your internal organs and skin. Negatively. So don’t do that.
Instead, write down a list. That way, you’re brain is free to do other stuff. Like figure out ways to yell at other people’s kids and not get caught.
There’s actually one other way to deal with the stress of moving, but saying it seems rather silly. The bottom line is that you really don’t have to move at all. You can stay in your current house, apartment or box next to the river. If it’s good enough where you are now, why do risk getting drunk, yelling at strangers children, or doing the work of writing things down, when you can stay comfortably in the pleasant normalcy you’ve created for yourself. But…that’s just a suggestion.
To conclude, do yourself a favor: pick one of the things mentioned here, and try your best to endure the second most shittiest thing to dying.
All for now,
Michael
There is a great quote by famous surgeon Maxwell Maltz. In his book, “Thought To Live By” he says that so many of us are hypnotized by false beliefs about ourselves.
Upon reading this, I started to wonder.
First, if you are completely unfamiliar with the work of Dr. Maltz, I’ll fill you in on some basics.
Dr. Maltz was a plastic surgeon. In fact, he was a very famous plastic surgeon. In his profession, he again and again came across people who were convinced that their major problem in life was something physical about themselves. Whenever he performed the surgery to improve what his patients believed needed improving, he discovered that soon their new found confidence wained, and they were back again looking to find something else about their bodies that should be fixed.
Over time, Dr. Maltz realized that the problem most of these people were having was an issue of self-concept. He began to notice that they simply viewed themselves in a way that never let them stop judging themselves, criticising themselves, harming themselves from the inside. So, he decided that something needed to be done about this.
To combat what he saw as a terrible problem, he wrote several books with tips about how to find your way back from a self-concept that views oneself as a seriously problematic person with tonnes of flaws and imperfections to a self-concept of unconditional love and acceptance.
His work is really brilliant, and very helpful. I won’t say his tips are easy to do. They sound easy, but they are ANYTHING BUT EASY. Still, writing them and giving them to people was a wonderful gift he gave. His work has helped many people over-come their limiting beliefs. They've helped people quit pooping on themselves with negative self-talk, and thereby begin giving themselves more constructive thoughts. Those positive thoughts have helped people to achieve more than they ever believed possible. Including me.
So today, I’d like to give a tip I have used to help you overcome some of the false beliefs you have about yourself. Why? Because I really want you to stop blocking yourself from doing what you really want, I want you to stop holding yourself back, and to stop pooing on yourself.
I believe that it is our false beliefs about ourselves that really do keep us from achieving more in life. If I believe I am a failure, I will do things to ensure that belief about myself is maintained. Usually I will blame my failure on other people, but that is often too a trick my brain plays to ensure my self-belief is maintained.
(Why do we defend our self-belief? It’s quite complicated. I think we do it, because it’s all we have. If we open ourself, we realize how fragile we are. If we do that, we cringe in fear of oblivion. Humans tend to not enjoy thoughts of oblivion, unless it’s self-induced through drugs or drink….but that’s another story).
Our beliefs about ourselves are born out of our early experience. Perhaps we become convinced that we cannot draw well. That belief leads to the action of NOT drawing. Since we believe we cannot draw, we do not draw. That choice to believe in our inability perpetuates itself. It becomes an ingrained habit of inaction. We don’t do, we believe, we believe we don’t do. The brain hardens. And…we prove ourselves right. We cannot draw. (Maybe one day we even try. But the feeling of trying is so excrutiating that we put the pencil down and once again conclude that DAMMIT, I CANT DRAW).
Please understand, I’m not saying everyone is a Picasso. But, I am saying that people have a lot more talents than they believe themselves to have. Our biggest mistake is in thinking that a talent is only a talent if it gets us in a history book or on TV. Everything else but a fame making talent is a waste of time and effort…or so many people’s reasoning goes. (Which is BS, by the way!)
So how do we dehypnotize ourselves? How do we unlock the belief in our lameness?
First, we have to be willing to act in the new way. We have to be willing to go through the growing pains of doing the new thing. Trust me, learning something as an adult sucks! But, to break through the bullcrap limitation we believe about ourselves, we must push into the uncomfortable place of change.
We must do what we fear. We must be patient with the process. Change in REAL LIFE is not a microwave change. In movies a hero goes from lonely dork to cool guy in two hours. Movies are movies. They are a story designed to entertain, not depict reality. Don’t forget that.
We must push and push and do and do and push and do and do and push and pus past the limiting voices of belief. We must realize that the beliefs we have are NOT necessarily truth! They feel like truth, but they are only subjective agreements we have made about the way things are on earth, and in our lives. Usually people have helped us reinforce those beliefs, but that is not the issue in this article. What is, is your pushing and doing something different despite the ugly crappy pain.
I really like one technique, and I use it all the time. I have a habit of putting myself down. I often say something rather negative to myself both while I am alone with my thoughts, and while I am in the company of other people. Well, let me tell you, putting yourself down is a terribly silly horrible bad….ooops….I mean, putting yourself down is not the most constructive habit. To combat the effect of the self-putdown, I usually retort myself with three positive statements about myself. For example, “Ewww…my eyes have too many wrinkles…..but, I’ve got a full head of hair, my teeth are all mine, and I’m cute. “ Three positives to every negative. More positives if needed.
This is a great thing to do if you are Korean. I often hear people say, “I’m not good at English.” This sentence pisses me off. It makes me angry because a) they are saying it in English, and b) it’s false humility. You are good at English. No you are not native. So what! Get over the self-deprecating crap attitude and behavior. You speak well. As well as someone in your position who has studied as much as you have, at least. So give yourself a break. Next time you become aware of saying I’m not good at English, remember to say three or more positives.
Unless you like thinking you are the worst of the worst, because you get some kind of perverse pride out of it. In which case, keep pooping on yourself. And, if you would like, give me a call. I’ll come over and poop on you too.
YUCK!
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