What To Do When You’re Feeling Really Really Sad

Losing something that is important to you really sucks! It especially sucks when that something that was important to you was a big part of your dreams, plans and hopes for the future. When you lose that thing, it feels like someone stepping into your mind and stomping out all those happy plans you had stored. I hate losing stuff. I really do.

Perhaps you’ve recently lost something important? Perhaps you’re feeling sad about that? What do you do? How do you deal with grief in a healthy way? Just what do you do when you’re feeling really realy sad?

The first thing that helps is to understand that feeling sad is normal. It’s a normal part of the grieving process. A big mistake many people make is that they fail to realize the normality of the process. They run from the pain. They jump into a new situation to try and replace the old, and they end up still sad. Or they drink or get wasted. (Rarely does this help!) So, if you understand that it’s normal to feel sad you’ll be able to accept that what you are feeling.

Acceptance is the answer to most all our problems. Accept the grief. Accept the loss. Accept and do the second thing, which is feel the pain. Feel the sadness. Don’t run from it. Don’t lose yourself in drugs and a relationship or something personally self-damaging. Just feel the damned pain, even though it feels terrible doing it. Running from the things that our emotional aspect is trying to deal with only complicates things.

You know, it’s funny. When we break our arm, we have no problem accepting the cast. It sucks to live with it on for a few weeks, but we deal. We know that the healing process takes time. We accept this. But with a broken heart or deep sadness, we don’t want to take the necessary time for our soul to heal. Emotions are tricky, and we really don’t like living with what’s uncomfortable. But, if you want to do something positive when you’re feeling really really bad, feel your emotions and don’t run.

Next, write. Writing is one of the best ways to process those grief feelings. It’s a way to be there for yourself, a way to talk to someone when all other people are tired of hearing you whine about your loss. Writing is a great way to work through and analyze what happened. Just be sure to not start beating yourself up for whatever loss you are dealing with. Loss happens to us all. The death of things, relationships, friendships, partnerships, family are all part of life. We cannot escape it. To beat yourself up over what happens to us all, is to spend time in Sillyland. And Sillyland sucks. The rides are terrible and there are too many people already there, so don’t waste your time or money.

Back to the topic, writing is a great way to work past the sad feelings you are having.

It’s also a really good idea to do something cool for someone else. I mean really put your heart into helping someone. Do something positive for a friend or family member. Or, do something great for someone you don’t know.

No, if you’re grieving the loss of your boyfriend or girlfriend, don’t make something for them. It’ll only confuse things.

Instead, pour your energy into writing a blog designed to help others, writing a story that you can tell to kids, building a company that helps people solve their problems, or painting a picture for your best friend. Concentrate all your energy on trying to solve someone else’s problem. Even if it feels hard, difficult, and bad doing it, do it anyway. It’s better than sitting around thinking about all that you’ve lost, and how crappy your life is going to be from here on out. Get busy helping someone.

You can try this too. Go to a really high floor in a city building, go to a window and look down at all the people. No, don’t jump. Instead, notice how small everyone is. Realize that if one of those persons were standing where you are and looking down at you walking past, they would see you as being really small. Try to realize how small we all are. Try to see that the problems and sadness we are feeling, though real and important, is only a small piece in this big puzzle called life. We are small, and our problems are really not that big. They feel huge, but their not. We’re alive and breathing, we have intelligence, we have worth, we are smart and able. We can do enough to have a happy and joy-filled, successful life. We have breath in our lungs! And that’s really a great place to start.

Lastly, write a gratitude list. Consider all the good things in your life that seem insignificant in comparison to the pain you are feeling. Consider the fact that you are breathing. Consider that you have two legs to walk on. Consider all the things that are right about you and your life right here and now. Yes the negatives will come and tell you that your rights are stupid and childish and not the same. But write anyhow. Write about how you are grateful that you have a full head of hair, or a little extra fat on your body which means you’re not starving. Find the things to be grateful for. There are always many things that each of us have to be so for.

Bottomline: loss sucks. Losing people and things is a really sad thing. But, we cannot avoid it. We are human, and humans lose things. It’s the way of the world. We can, however, choose how we react to it.

You can rest assured that spending too much time wallowing in the sadness is not helpful. Despite the loss, we all have a life that we need to keep living. It’s our responsibility. So, with that knowledge, and the tips I’ve written about, you’ll be able to make it through this painful time.

Remember the pain will pass. "This too shall pass". So keep going. Feel the pain, and allow the healing to occur. Be patient with yourself and with the process.

Until next time, ciao!